David

David is 35 and a writer. On his profile picture he is topless and has a nice body. He messaged me saying that he was shy. Hmm, well you are confident enough to have a topless picture on a dating website and message me first.

I did like his body, but still thought he was a little bit too old for me.  We messaged a bit and he told me that he was going on a date. I was like, ‘good I see you are not keeping all your eggs in one basket.’

The next day he messaged me saying that his date went okay, but there was no spark. He gave me his number. I decided to message him via my telephone. We messaged back and forth. We then asked me out on a date. I said I lived in a village outside the city.

Okay I will come to you, he said.

No you won’t.

I said I didn’t want to meet in the village because there is not much there.

‘There is your house,’ he said.

Okay, like I am going to let a strange man into my house. This was the point where I sort of thought I still live with my parents I can’t bring men back here. Even if I lived on my own I would never bring a man back to my house, especially when I don’t know them.

I told him I would let him know. I wasn’t sure about him. He suggested meeting in the city. But I didn’t reply.

Friday was a gorgeous day and he messaged me asking if I was sunbathing.  I didn’t reply because I could imagine I would get a sordid reply about me being in a bikini.

On Saturday morning, after telling Markus it was never going to happen, I told David the same but in a shorter message. I also said that I would never bring back men I didn’t know to my house.

‘I said that as joke,’ he said.

‘Funny,’ I replied.

‘Happy fishing,’ he said.

Hmm, more like happy sieving, sieving out the idiots.