Markus

One of the first men to message me was Markus aged 33 and a fellow teacher who teaches Sixth Formers P.E. In his profile picture there were three men. I asked him which one he was and of course it was the one I was least attracted too. But I didn't want to be rude. After a day of messages he asked me out on a date. This felt too soon but I gave him my number. He texted me ‘Is this the right number?’ Is this the right number, the right number for what? I replied, ‘I think so’. He also sent me a WhatApp as well as  text messaging saying he had sent me a message on WhatsApp. Whilst on WhatsApp he took the opportunity to send me another picture of him. It was black and white and slightly blurred. But I wasn’t attracted to him and had a weird feeling. It does sound shallow but I think you need to be attracted to someone’s face as well as their personality. We did WhatsApp for a bit and he said wanted to meet me. I suggested meeting in the day somewhere. He wanted to meet in the evening somewhere quiet. Somewhere quiet so he can kill me? It turned out he was busy this weekend and then suggested meeting one weekday evening. Personally, I don’t like going out in the weekday because preparing for school the next day is very time consuming and I am often tired after working with children all day. And I am often covered in glitter or glue. I told him this. But he said ‘well even for 45 minutes would be nice.’

Okay keen!

I then suggested meeting in a couple of weeks during the day. He said yes and that early afternoon would be fine. I didn't really feel like organizing a time yet, something still didn't feel right so I just left it.

The next day he sent me a message saying, ‘hey babe, how was your day?’

Babe? Don’t call me babe when you don’t know me. I am not your babe. I don’t mind pet names. Me and ex-boyfriend called each other silly nicknames all the time, but not straight away. 

I still responded. I told him I was tired. 

He then replied, ‘Bless. Nights like this would be lovely for cuddles.’

Erugh, I am going to be sick.

‘Aww’, I said.

‘I love snuggles,’ he replied.

Gross.

I did not reply.

The next day he messaged again asking how I was and called me 'hun'. I didn't like the fact he called me 'hun' when he didn't know me. He suggested meeting this weekend in the morning. Again, I was not sure so made up that I had to see a friend and would let him know. I needed to think. 

He messaged me this morning asking how I was. I decided to message him this:

‘I have been thinking and I am not really sorry but I am not in the right place in my life for a relationship....’

After some praying and soul searching, I realized that I am not ready for dating and I don’t have the time for a relationship. Men in their thirties will probably want to settle down. I am not ready to settle down. My placement takes up all my time and then I am going to Greece with my mum in June. After that I will be free. But not right now.

‘...I have my reasons why I thought I would try online dating…’

My ex- boyfriend’s friend who has a girlfriend is sending me rude pictures and saying rude things to me.

‘...but it is not right for me now and I have deleted my account...’

Yep, I lasted less than a  week on Plenty of Fish. I deleted my profile yesterday.

‘...I am sorry if I have been leading you on. But I need to sort my life out first. I am only 24 and I live with parents. I don’t have enough money to find my own house because I am a student. I need a job and a house first. Sorry...’

It is true. I cannot date I am still living with my parents. I need a job first. I need the monies and I need to save to get a place to rent. I need to live on my own and not in my parent’s basement before dating old men. Okay, I don’t actually live in my parents basement, but you know what I mean.

I also added that I didn't like snuggles.

‘Don’t be sorry,’ he said. ‘I thought we would click and get on well. I think you are gorgeous and I would love to date you.’

I told him I wasn't in the right place right now to date.

He said that is fine.

I told him about ex-boy toy and I splitting up after five years and how I jumped the gun a little bit in thinking I was ready to move on.

‘Why did you split?’ He asked.

‘Several of reasons,’ I said, ‘we just weren't working out.’

‘So it is for the best?’ Markus said.

‘Oh yes,’ I told him. There are no hard feelings and it is fine.

‘You seem sweet,’ he messaged, ‘what do you study?’

He knows I am a student teacher. He knows that I am a training to teach primary school children.

‘A student teacher!’

‘Yes, but is it just primary?

‘Yes..’

Wasn't sure what he really meant. ‘But is it just primary?’ Yes, it is just primary.

He then asked if I wanted to teach secondary and other questions.

When I mentioned I am often covered in glitter from working with young children. He asked if I was a girlie-girl. What a weird question.

‘I am not 6,’ I said.

‘What do you mean?’

‘That is a kind of question you ask a child,’ I said.

‘No, older women can be girlie-girls, with fake nails etc,’ he explained.

What?

‘Right.’

I don’t wear fake nails at all. Yes, I love make up and my pretty dresses. But asking if someone is a girlie-girl is strange...

‘I will take that as a no then,’ he sent back.

I told him that it was strange that he didn't ask if I was a tomboy, as a joke, because it is the opposite of being a girlie-girl. But he didn't find that funny.

He then asked what I was up to today, wherever I liked staying in or going out and what my perfect night was. I had just told him I was not interested in dating and still he persists. The smell of desperation is strong.

I said it was nice chatting to him, bye bye!

‘Don’t you want to keep chatting?’

‘Not really,’ I said.

‘We can be friends?’ he pleaded.

NO! I have enough friends.

I should have told him I have depression, which I do. But I still don’t think that would have put him off.