My Facebook Affair

I have been single for more than a month now. We split up at the end of April, beginning of May just before our five year anniversary. I am not going to go into why we split up. It is for the best and that is that. It is sad and a shame. But you know we are not meant to be together. We have left it on good terms and that is good.

I had been single for about 4 weeks when I got a message from one of my ex-boyfriend’s friends on Facebook. The messages were nice at first but they got a little bit dirty and they were mainly sexual. I will admit I have been attracted to him because he is a good looking guy. But, there is a but, this guy has a girlfriend. Not only is he my ex-boyfriend’s friend he also has a girlfriend. I have got pictures of his body parts on my phone that I shouldn't have. I will let you use your imagination. I have told him that it is wrong and he shouldn't be sending me these things and he agrees. Yet, the messages keep coming. I can’t say I have been innocent in all this. I have replied and shouldn't have. But now we have agreed to stop. At the end of the day he has been cheating on his girlfriend in the comfort of his own bedroom behind a screen. So does social media and technology make it easier for people to cheat?

I am having a Facebook affair. I have not met up with this guy or snogged him. But he has sent me a lot of dirty pictures and messages and asked me to do the same. I am not stupid. The only picture I have sent him was a picture of my shoes…Is it easier now to have an affair behind a screen? For all I know this guy could be messaging me whilst sat next to his girlfriend who is probably clueless about all this. How do I know I am the only he is messaging?

One man actually created a website dedicated to Facebook cheating stories. Ken Savage’s wife created a Facebook account whilst battling with depression. Savage thought this was a good idea because reconnecting with friends might help her overcome her illness. However, his wife was rekindling long lost love with an old boyfriend. He created a website to help others get through affairs that have started through Facebook. Savage agrees that Facebook makes cheating a lot easier. In America divorce lawyers have stated that 81% of marriages ended because of affairs on Facebook. Although I am 24 and I am not getting in touch with my child hood sweethearts and I am not married, for my generation Facebook and social network sites are still a thrill and excitement regarding sex and yes it is easier to hide and be confident. You don’t have go anywhere, you can be in the comfort of your own home and not worry about what you look like. You have the chance to live out your sexual fantasies through typing and not be embarrassed.

In the past having sex with someone and kissing them whilst you have a partner meant you were cheating on them. Back then it was simple, embarking on sexual activity with another person whilst you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/ wife means you are cheating. But the lines of cheating are now blurred.  Not much effort needs to be made. All you need is just a dirty mind, a camera on a phone and a phone or a computer. After much research I found that having a Facebook affair is called an ‘emotional affair.’ An emotional affair is where you share an emotional attachment to someone and share deep secrets, wishes and thoughts intimately. You also have secret ways of being in touch through the internet or phone. That is probably why having affairs online and through technology are easier because it easier to hide.

I have now made it clear to this guy that it stops now. It isn't fair on either of us, his girlfriend or my ex-boyfriend. I think I have an idea why he is doing it, but that is not for me to say. Technology has just made it easier to connect with others and live out and share our wildest fantasies whilst hiding behind a computer screen. I think the question people are asking is social media making it harder for us to be sociable in real life?